Commonwealth Games 2018 – Tax Haven Medal Count!

How big was our stuff up? "This big"....

While most of the focus last week was on the Commonwealth games and the poor performance of games organisers in closing out what the Australian public generally regarded to be of lesser interest than My Kitchen Rules, a vastly more important yarn has gone completely untold. 

The dismal athletic performance of the humble Tax haven!  

The British Empire may have taken a few knocks over the last 100 or so years. The odd republic here, the removal of the Queen’s face from a currency there.

Yet no one can possibly argue the humble tax haven still isn’t one of the of the greatest generators of salacious stories and a truly enduring symbol of the Empire’s former prowess.

For all the billions of cleanly washed bills flowing like Niagara falls into these piss-pot dots on a map – should we really be surprised they actually managed to cobble together a few tax accountants to field a ‘National’ team in the Commonwealth Games?

The short answer is no. They are awesome! Just ask the Queen, who having been warned that they remain “by far the most important part of the global offshore system of tax havens and secrecy jurisdictions” by a group of so called Tax “experts” in 2013, sat mute, hoping no one would ask where she kept the Crown purse! 

                           Cheeky ol Gran!

And for good reason, as it was later revealed, the poor old darling just can’t get enough of her dependencies! 

Her Majesty along with the Fam was, after all, forced to endure the humiliation of paying tax only a decade before hand.  This communistic error of judgement by pesky politicians frankly forced her hand. 

One must protect one’s assets! 

So how did they do?

The Bahamas takes out the number 1 Tax haven of the 2018 Commonwealth Games!  

TAX HAVEN Gold Silver Bronze Total
The Bahamas 1 3 0 4
Bermuda 1 0 0 1
British Virgin Is. 1 0 0 1
Saint Lucia 1 0 0 1
Isle of Man 0 1 0 1
Seychelles 0 0 1 1
Anguilla 0 0 0 0
Belize 0 0 0 0
Cayman Islands 0 0 0 0
Gibraltar 0 0 0 0
Guernsey 0 0 0 0
Jersey 0 0 0 0

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